I wish I knew when I was young that adults aren’t perfect. I wish I had known that they often muddle their way through as best they can and try to figure it out. I wish I could better explain this to my kids right now.
If you know me personally or follow my blog, you know that I work – a lot. And I travel for business – a lot. You’d also know that I have a rather “complicated” family life. I have a son with intellectual disabilities, a husband with Primary Progressive MS who is confined to a power chair, two teen-aged daughters not yet old enough to drive and my mother who lives with us.
Sometimes my head feels like it’s about to explode trying to schedule drop-offs and pick-ups, figuring out and preparing dinners, remembering to sign school forms and the times for their activities, leaf blowing, shoveling, shopping, starting to search for colleges and plan for my son’s transition out of school and, oh yeah, work.
For the most part I get it done. Our family is quite a well-oiled machine. But every now and then we come off the rails. Fortunately, it’s usually not all of us at the same time. We all have our breaking points and crisis. I kick myself when I feel like I’m short changing someone.
And yes, I do try to take care of myself as well. I do yoga, I meditate, I have girlfriend time and I have couch potato time.
But even then, there are times where I feel like I’m just not enough and am at the point of a serious meltdown. Isn’t that true for almost every mom? How often do we think that we’re screwing up our kids or that we haven’t been there enough, or we took our eye off the ball and that’s why they’re flunking a class or Juuling or drinking or the millions of other things tweens and teens will do?
Tonight, was one of those nights where I felt I wasn’t enough. I was out of town on business and there were too many things to figure out and coordinate. My husband was upset, my daughter was upset and it really didn’t have anything to do with me, but I believe it’s all my fault. Because I’m not enough – I’m not supermom.
Don’t we all deep down inside feel like we need to do it all? Sure, we delegate stuff to our husbands but when they don’t do it exactly as we would we take it back, assuming that our way is the only way. So here you go mamas – a hall pass. From one merely adequate mom to my sisters. We are as much as we can be. We need to let our kids know that we’re not super moms. We’re human beings who are flawed and merely trying to figure it out as we go. Let’s face it, if you’ve got teens they probably already think you’re crazy/annoying/lame/embarrassing….all of the above.
Letting our kids know that we’re not perfect, that we are trying to do our best but we will screw up might actually help them be easier on themselves when they become parents. If you can relate to what I’m saying leave me a comment and also feel free to join my Facebook group My Fifty Some-Odd Year-Old Life. It’s a community of women of any age who sometimes need a boost or a laugh and are willing to let their flaws show. Jump in – the water’s warm and we’ll catch you before you drown!